Long car journeys, mouth ulcers and flocking sheep

This weekend just passed we decided to go and see my sister who now lives up north near Whitehaven. We decided this in the middle of last week when I was having somewhat of an existential crisis and was sat crying in my room. It was one of the bad days I spoke about in my previous blog post. I woke up Saturday morning, luckily on a good day which made the 2 hour car journey a lot easier to deal with although even if it wasn’t a good day, I don’t see how I could have kept a frown on my face when travelling with my parents is like a prequel to National Lampoons Vacation. If it wasn’t dad sitting on his sandwich, it was mum screaming in the back at a fly to get out the car. It’s nice having days like this though, were I’m distracted enough to believe everything is normal. Whilst up north I took in every bit of the scenery as that is one of my favourite bits of being up north. The views you get are absolutely incredible and whilst we were there, we definitely went the right places to get them. When we first got there we went to St Bees, getting an ice cream and sitting on the beach, it was so calm and tranquil, the sounds of the sea on the rocks being a sound you could fall asleep to. Then the next day we went to Ennerdale Lake where we had a good laugh at my mums lack of ability to skim stones across water, rather than making them hop softly, she made them fall so hard they could have killed a fish or two. This lake however had the type of view you see painted in pictures, one that you could literally sit there for hours and look at. Being outdoors in scenery like that just gives me a strange sense of gratefulness for each breath I take, as cheesy as that sounds. It’s just when I look around and breathe in the fresh air that I feel peaceful and content, it’s definitely something to pick up my mood when I’m feeling down and was one of the main reasons I wanted to travel to visit my sister. Of course, it goes without saying that the main reason was in fact because I missed my sister, because at the moment, I just want to be as close to as much family as I can be and she is the only one who lives so far away. The whole weekend was filled with laughs and an overall happy mood, it felt very normal. In fact, the only argument we had was over where to eat on the first night as since I’ve got my appetite back, I don’t stop eating! Well, till I get a mouth filled full of ulcers which I did do Saturday afternoon. Although not a pleasant experience, it’s apparently a normal reaction, however I have counted at least 15 different ulcers and it’s really starting to become a problem. This is the only side effect from my whole treatment so far that has fully affected me. I’m hoping it’ll calm down however as I finished my last dose of oral Chemotherapy (Capecitabine) on Sunday, leaving me with a four day break before my next round of chemo. Although I only spent two days up north, when getting home I still kept myself busy. I went on a date night with my boyfriend and now today, im going no shopping. Already after stopping my oral dose of Capecitabine I don’t feel as fatigued, I’m sleeping better and finding that walking isn’t as strenuous for me. So far, I’m happy with how the treatments going, I just hope for the love of god that at my scan it shows the tumours are shrinking! Till then though, I can only wait.

Thank you for your continued support yet again. I realise at the moment I can’t give much more news as I myself don’t know anything else but I can still provide an insight into life with the cancer for anyone interest ☺️

Little added extra
You’re probably wondering where the flocking sheep part of the title came from, well this is an inside joke from the trip to see my sister, Heather. I had said “The sheep are flocking” whilst yawning and it’s safe to say it was misinterpreted… I’ll leave the misinterpretation to your imagination.

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