WARNING: This blog post isn’t one that should be read whilst eating or due to eat. I’m sticking true to my words and being brutally honest and truthful throughout all my blog posts, not holding back on the severity of the side effects and explaining it in full detail for the people who read my blog and are going through what I am. Maybe my detailed discussion of my side effects will resonate with them and in result help them feel not alone and less worried of what is ‘normal’ and what is a cause for concern. Alliteratively, you can skip the story of my sickness by skipping the text in-between the ‘***’.
Since my last post, I’ve been able to have 2 weeks to feel the effects of my new Chemo and see if it changes anything side effects wise. The good news is that my ulcers haven’t been nearly half as severe as they were my first and second round of chemo and I’ve not been suffering with the horrible heartburn and indigestion the tablets gave me, plus I’ve been able to have a better routine as I’ve not had to time myself to make sure I eat at the same time I’m due my tablets. The bad news however, is the extreme sickness and diarhorrea I was riddled with last Monday and Thursday. Sure, only two days isn’t that bad but the severity the sickness came at was worrying. I had woke up and agreed to take my boyfriend, Paul down to the local subway after I had some super noodles as now I have a car and a quick trip out is nothing and breaks up my day a little. However as I got dressed into my lounge suit and went downstairs to Paul I started to get stomach cramps that were only minor and something I could deal with although all a sudden turned severe when I sat down to tie my shoes. I ended up just sitting back and giving myself a second, telling Paul I’ll take him in a few minutes, I just have a bit of a sore stomach. In the next instance however the pain got worse and resulted in me quickly asking Paul to get me the sick bucket the pain was that intense. *** Even though I’m wanting to give as much detail as I can to provide a good insight into my life, I’m pretty sure I don’t have to explain what happened as soon as I got the bucket, especially since I had only just had super noodles (I apologise for that mental image… The same image has put me off super noodles indefinitely). The next hour or two them turned hectic, well from my point of view anyway. I can’t remember much apart from pain unimaginable that I had never experienced before and to couple with it, my stoma bag was filling by the second with fluid which raised an alarm. Now I’m expected to have diarrhoea, even more so on 5FU but I hadn’t prepared for it to be this bad, therefore I only had a midi-stoma bag on which is relatively small and not a drainable bag that should be used for diarrhoea. This then left us in a rather disgusting (and traumatic for me who is unbelievably squeamish with anything but blood despite what I’ve been through) as I attempted to get upstairs to my room where I then wants to strip to shorts and a t-shirt to be cooler and hopefully stop me getting so hot and feverish that was causing me to throw up. (Side note: I don’t know if I’ve explained it before, but I have never been good with pain or getting a fever. For as long as I can remember, both cause me to be sick no matter what and this was the same case in this instance, the pain and fever I was getting from the bout of diarrhoea was causing me to be sick.) Once upstairs, my boyfriend grew concerned that my bag had started to come off and to follow, my mum also said she was concerned and on checking the sea of my bag to my skin, they were not wrong. In my dramatic (and slightly pathetic) style I then went into a fit of panic, screaming and crying as I was now dealing with constantly throwing up and a stoma bag that was leaking onto my clothes. It’s safe to say this panic lasted for at least and hour whilst my mum worked around me, moving me to the bathroom and sorting me out whilst I just continued to panic and deal with my sickness. To make a long story short, I was eventually sorted out with a stoma bag for my diarrhoea and was able to return to my bedroom with my bucket where Paul was. I took 2-3 immodiums over this time, tried to take Anti-Sickness which ended up just coming back up and used my fan to cool myself down till eventually I was quite calm. Paul remained in my bedroom with me to look after me whilst my mum cleaned everything else up and eventually I was able to get some sleep. After my sleep, I started feeling a million times better although was terrified with every bit of pain I had.*** This bout of sickness however left me in a predicament. I was due to go to Stoke on Trent in a hotel the next day and then stay over in order to go to Alton Towers. This was booked and paid for therefore I was gutted at the thought that I may not be able to go. As most people will know however, we did manage to go and had an amazing time!
Firstly, the hotel we stayed in was beautiful. Me and Paul got some time to send in the spa, sitting in the Jacuzzi and chilling on the sun loungers on a bit and a few weeks prior I had bought a beautiful bikini that hid my stoma so I was made up!
To finish the night off we also had a three course meal which was wonderful. The next day we woke up and had breakfast – which was amazing for me as with the holidays we had been on prior to my diagnosis (Disneyland Paris and Florida, the videos that can be found in previous blog posts) I could never stomach breakfast so it was nice to enjoy a full english once again. Shortly after, we made our way to Alton Towers. The trip was to say th least eventful despite only being a 20 minute drive! The windy roads, sharp turns at like a 45 degree angle, I was terrified of these roads more than the motorway – and it was all like 60 MPH! I couldn’t quite understand how people could drive on these roads and I hate hills enough because I’m always scared of rolling back when I take my handbrake off whereas these roads you had to rollback because there was no way for you to get out any other way! The worse had to be when both sides of traffic had to STOP for me to pull out, reverse then turn some more, me and Paul couldn’t quite stop laughing at just how ridiculous it was but i was all worth it in the end as eventually when we got to Alton Towers we in store for a great day. With my disability badge we got parking right at the front, Paul got free entry for being my carer and I also was able to hire a wheelchair for the day so I would not get tired. To top it off, we got access to the front of the queue for any ride we wanted! Only downside for Paul was the amount of hills he had to push me up and down but I guess it just gave him a good work out. We had a fantastic day, starting off with going on Galatica, the old air ride that has now turned into a 4D experience which did not disappoint, it was fantastic and had me screaming all the way round! Next would have been ripsaw, which was one of my favourite rides however I was sad to find out it had been removed before the 2016 season started… Therefore I decided to go on Nemesis instead. We then went into the Sea Life centre before trying out the new Rollercoaster Restaurant. I was certainly impressed! Basically, the food is delivered on mini rollercoasters, right to your seat, it was an amazing concept and definitely fun whilst I was able to relax for a bit.
Afterwards me and Paul ventured over to the other side of the park where we got to ride Rita (Which we rode at the back… And got thrown everywhere!) followed by the Smiler twice. I’ve never liked Oblivion, finding it boring and then I didn’t fancy going on the Sonic Spinball as i thought that could have possibly pushed me too far. Instead, we decided to play on a few games and travel to the other side of the park where we finished the day off with the Congo River Rapids… Which was a massive laugh! A video (Which I’ll upload on my Facebook page) which involved me and Paul screaming due to the waterfalls getting us wet followed by people squirting us is something I’ll cherish as you can see just how much fun we were having. (I also got a Smiler jumper, which can be seen in the picture!)
I am over the moon I got to have these two days away with Paul, it was definitely much needed and brought my positivity back up. Unfortunately though, on the following Thursday me and Paul spent the day at the Trafford Centre shopping then watched Finding Dory at the end of the day and around half way through the film, the dreaded pains I had Monday returned and I was left in a fit of panic again. This caused me many breaks leaning out the car in fear I couldn’t drive home before I finally decided I needed to attempt it. Shortly into our journey I got the diarrhoea yet again and without having to go into the detail I did when describing the bout of sickness I had Monday, I ended up having to pull over into the hard shoulder whilst Paul changed my slowly opening bag and put a new one on. It luckily avoided all my clothes however it didn’t stop me panicking just as much. This bout of sickness didn’t last as long and by the time I got home, I was relatively alright and had avoided actually throwing up (which I think was thank to my A/C). Friday I got to go to the midnight screening of Suicide Squad which starred some of my very favourite comic book characters, as I’m quite mad on DC and Marvel. It again, was a wonderful night spent with my Paul and left me again feeling positive I was able to live my life. I had a quite few days after that, zooming around to various places, spending a wonderful day with my old friend from college Ashleigh and having a BBQ at my sisters before I was back round to having my Chemo again! Overall the side effects this time haven’t destroyed me like my mouth ulcers did although I have been very strict with my mouth care to ensure this. Although I’ve started to need more anti-sickness, it’s a small price to pay as when I don’t have my pump on, I feel relatively alright to roam around on my own and enjoy life as much as I can. Two more rounds to go and then it’s time for my scans to see if my Chemotherapy is worked… Fingers crossed it’s all good news, I’m starting to get nervous now although I have faith that I’m in safe hands and I have all the love in the world around me so whatever the outcome, I know I’ll be okay.
Didn’t take many pictures but the ones I did can be seen below: